I am really just an ordinary person who decided to do something extraordinary, but if I can do it so can you. I am writing the story of my fitness journey in the hopes of inspiring others to dare to reach their goals. The first step, is of course, deciding to set the goal, learning how to manage the goal by taking small steps towards obtaining the goal, and then having the tenacity to keep pushing towards achieving the goal.
It was far from easy for me. First off I am a single mom who dared to do something else extraordinary and that was to write and self publish my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) .. previous to that I had my blog ..and I set up my website to promote my book. I had a very tough time in my local community promoting my book.. in essence I was prejudiced against and blackballed by the arts and professional community. I was also sexually harassed by a older male professional ( Joel Young ) I wrote about the experience seeking justice by my community but it only worked further against me. The issue with my book is that I use my image topless as The Goddess to express myself as an artist and a writer. I write about women’s sexuality in an educated voice .. but my community is ultra conservative and frankly, sexually immature. Kelowna is full of some very fake and plastic people.. I am a threat to them because I am too raw and too real. To them the word ” authentic ” is just buzz word.. they don’t have any intention of being real and vulnerable.. it just sounds good on paper. And so because of my book and website I was bullied out of W. Brett Wilson’s gym ( Global Fitness ) and not allowed by him or his manager to have fitness photography like the other members. After I did a YouTube video about it his manager gave me a fake apology and asked me to come to her in a private appointment to ask her again..I wasn’t going to put myself through another round of emotional abuse.. She was always giving me dirty looks and blaming me for bullshit things.. and so I left that gym to go to World Gym in Kelowna.
At World Gym I made the mistake of telling Mark Smith; the manager what had happened to me at Global Fitness.. I didn’t know that Mark was a bully or that the owner Gary allowed Mark to bully members ( as I found out later I wasn’t the only one ) Mark confonted me in the front of the gym telling me that none of the other members liked me and that I should leave the gym..I asked the members on the Facebook page of World Gym if they really wanted me to leave. Mark then accused me of bullying him online and told me by phone that I was no longer allowed in the gym.. he was fired and so a year later I tried to go back into the gym but the manager told me through a staff member that I was still not allowed in the gym. Gary has refused to talk to be directly. Of course this is prejudiced and unfair yet to get lawyers involved would take time and money. Although I would win in court as he broke his legal written contract with me. Yet I still refused to give up and give in. I still went to another gym 6 days a week and worked on my fitness..and that is when Brett Godin asked me to be his client.
Brett asked me a couple of times.. I took my time to think about it because I wanted to make sure I was doing it for me. I wondered if Brett Wilson would of allowed me to have fitness photography in his gym if I was a competing competitor? I wondered if Darcia Fenton his manager would of seen me as more relevant if I had the money to pay to participate in a competition and I asked myself ” Is that why you want to do this? Do you want to prove something to these nasty, mean spirited people?” I rememberend meeting Matthew Cipes at the beach..and he asked me ” Why don’t you compete?” his father is a big wig in the Okanagan..and I fell hard for Matthew that day..and I thought to myself ” Do you want to do it for him to prove to him you are a somebody too?” Matthew broke my heart with his rejection so was I doing it for him? Was I doing it to make myself more relevant in my community that blackballed me as living spam? As Rae Stonehouse told a man who runs an Facebook networking page ” Block Gracie Ackerman, she is just spam.” Was I trying to prove to them all I am a person too? Look at me, I am an athlete? Was I doing it to prove something to Brett Godin?
The answer came up as ” No I am doing this for me. I am doing this to be the best for me and just for me. I am competing against my old self and no one else,” and so it began. Brett sent me the diet via email.
Okay, you will need a food scale!!
current photos — front side and back to be emailed in every sunday with full updates on your week
current starting weight-
updates every sunday include
current weight / last weeks weight
new photos ( front – side and back)
how your week went
did you get all your meals in ..
did you hit your cardio-
coach B
These meals are to be eaten every day
*space roughly 3 hours apart
Meal 1: 500ml water upon waking up
1 whole egg
3/4 cup egg whites
1/3 cup oatmeal
1scoop protein powder
Blend all together and make a protein pancake 
Coffee with sweetner ( Splenda or stevia)
Splash of ” unsweetened almond milk” NO COFFEE MATE
Water = 4litres per day***
Meal 2
4oz extra lean chicken
4 oz basmati rice
1 cup veggies ( broccoli/ cucumber)
Meal 3: “pre work out meal”
1 hour before training session
3 rice cakes
1 scoop protein
10g peanut butter
Post work out meal” only on weight training days”
1 apple (medium sized)
2 scoops isolate shake
Meal 4:
4oz extra lean chicken
4oz basmati rice
1cup veggies
Meal 5 :
4oz top sirloin steak
4oz cooked yam or sweet potato
1 cup veggies
meal 6: ” before bed”
1/2 cup egg whites
2 whole eggs
10g peanut butter
Condiments you are allowed
Mustard / hot sauce / low sugar ketchup/ soya sauce / any calorie free or low carb (under 2g per tablespoon)
Low carb Canada has amazing dressings
” walden farms”
Unreal !! A available at fuel!!!! Go see Aaron
Supplements:
Vitamin C: 2000 mg per day
vitamin D: 5000 iu per day
calcium magnesium: 2 caps at bed time
Protein isolate of choice.
Gluatmine 5G during work out/ 5G post work out
creatine: 5G during work out
BCAA : 10 G during work out.
Spices as much as you like.
If hungry in between meals snack are veggies only at this time.
Raw measures for oats
Cooked weight on meats and yams/rice
BOOM!!! Here we go
Coach B.
I was so excited and scared as I paid him $600; as a single mom it was hard spending that money just on me. But things got weird with his girlfriend. His off and on again relationship. She started to come to the gym every day I did; where before I hired Brett I rarely saw her, and then she dicided she was going to compete as well. The wierdness was that she started to compete with me for his attention. She was obviously jealous and insecure about me as his client, since I was single and decent looking. I couldn’t get anytime with Brett as my coach, he wasn’t communicating with me, and when I told him his girlfriend was stalking me around the gym he showed her the text messages. I couldn’t handle the immaturity and fired him. Yet it never really stopped. She stalked me right up to the competition even had to stand right smack up against me during qualifying night.. and Brett didn’t give me back any money I had to have the gym, he was working at give me back $600. But I didn’t give up. I refused to give in and so I asked another female trainer returning from maturnity leave to train me. And it worked well at first. She tweeked Brett’s diet plan, I paid her $350 to start and then gave her the other $600 the gym paid me back for Brett’s bullshit. She trained me hands on and gave me some great routines, yet she found a fulltime position and then started to blow me off. She stopped communicating with me. I would text her and it would take days for her to text me back. As the show approached she told me nothing of what to expect. When I started to carb deplete I was getting very emotional. So when she finally text messaged me back I told her what I thought of her lack of communications. Yes I threw a few f-bombs in my text but we are both adults and so I thought she could handle my honesty. But instead she sent me some uppity email telling me how great she was and that actually I hadn’t paid her what she is worth.. and so I let her go. I didn’t need her guilt tripping stress with me at the show. I had to concentrate on facing many people in the fitness community that had treated me poorly as you can read above.. and she knew that..but Beata cared only about Beata..she didn’t contact me after the show to see how I did..because she never really cared in the first place.
Beata also told me to bring wine into a show that was drug tested; I would of been disqualified and not able to compete for 2 years.. and so I wonder at her motives?
I loved the bikini that I bought off my friend Erica; and Erica was a great emotional support to me leading up to the show. She contaced me online to give me priceless adivice on what to bring and expect during the qualifing night and show. She was like my Fairy Godmother although she is younger than me. Erica showed up to the morning show to cheer me on and take a picture of me competing.
Qualifying night was tough. When I saw the women I was up against my heart dropped and with that, reality sunk in pretty quickly. I knew I was in last place and I also knew that many people would pick me appart on stage for not measuring up to these other women. Yet I admired their fitness and they gave me much to aspire toward..and I cheered them on and clapped for them while on stage with them during the final show the next night.
The spray tan was the worst; I told the woman spraying me down that I was a writer and that I was going to write about my experience and she said ” An intelligent bodybuilder.. now that’s refreshing.” we both had a good giggle. And then it was off to make up; the stage makeup had to match the dark spray tan, and it had to be bright enough to see from the stage. I really felt like a plastic doll. My lashes were like branches. But the over all effect was quite stunning really.
I got to the theater super early due to nerves and not knowing what to expect; and so I went home and came back again. There was one of my haters helping out back stage and she openly used her body language to let me know she was gossiping about me to others, yet she just gave me more fuel. I had other competitors help me get my bikini on; the other female competitors were amazing women. There was a lot comradery.
I placed or was given a metal because there were only 5 women in my class; when there are only 5 all 5 move on..and so I did. Was it dumb luck, or was it fate? Yet I worked very hard to be standing with these amazing women.
I was in the gym 6 days a week for 2 1/2 hours a day. Many athelets break up their lifting and cardio, but as a single working mom I had to do it all at once or not at all..and so I would start with 50 min of cardio and hour of weights and then end with more cardio. I was cooking meal prep for myself and cooking separate meals for my kids. And when I wasn’t working or cooking I was sleeping.
As you can see this didn’t just come to me; it was an inner and outter battle. I couldn’t and I still cannot control what other’s do to me; be they coaches, or professionals, but I can control what I do with it..and so I turned the negativity into postivity, by using it as my motivation and fuel.
I think the most dangerous part of competing or being an athlete is allowing it to define you or making it your entire life.. I think it is important to be yourself no matter what. It is important to maintain your individuality ..and that is especially hard in my community.
I was talking to a therapist at my gym today that is from the UK..and she told how conformed Kelowna is compaired to other cultures and how nice it is to meet someone like me here that isn’t trying to be Kelowna Perfect..
And she asked me today knowing that I had just finished and competed in my first Women’s Figure Competition ” How is your Inner Goddess Gracie?” and I said ” She is still herself..she is doing fablous.”
So I am just an ordinary person who dared to do something extraordinary..that took a lot of hard work and determination..
But the moral of the story is that ” You define you… never let other’s put a label on you.”
Will I compete again? That depends on finding a decent trainer. It depends on money and finances because it’s very expensive. The total cost of food, supplements, training and fees came to over $3,000.00 So was once enough to build myself confidence and character? I started this journey to better my health and to learn how to control my diet.. do I have anything else to prove to myself? Because I have nothing to prove to anyone else. So I am on the fence right now..but one thing is for sure and that is I love health and fitness. I did this because I love my body; but I am much more than just the way I look on the outside and in the fitness world many people forget that a beautiful body means nothing if it carries an ugly heart. I want to make sure I am doing it for the right reasons; not to feed my ego but to feed my heart and soul.
